Minus 1 fish

It has been a long time, and really most of you aren't surprised anymore, but i feel more organized than this, so really, it comes as a shock to me.

The past year has been a busy one, the summer taking the lions share of my life, and energy. I have been feeling better, and getting things done, through swimming I have increased my strength and ability to function. It is great.

I have started urban farming, I felt this spring that I had waited long enough, and purchased  and or rescued 11 chickens, 2 ducks, and 5 rabbits and their kin. Through nature or my husband that number has dropped, but according to my sister I am still farming if I have straw in my back yard so... guilty.

My garden was over flowing and now my pantry is. Quint is convinced that raised beds is the way to go, and I am delighted to report he plans to build more. LOL. We have a green house, that he killed most everything in, but that is another story, and maybe for later.

I have enjoyed pulling weed dates with a good friend, Michelle, we have had a great time trying to keep up with our front flower beds, they are not perfect, but far from weed beds. To our delight we can make out the flowers just fine.

I have hosted many parties, birthday, holiday, vacations, and girls nights IN. We have enjoyed watching romance movies, talking, and eating junk food.

We have started an online business, and I am thrilled to report that i buy most everything from my desk, in my PJ's and I love it. I still go to the grocery store, my I have shifted most of my shopping to online and find my pantry in fuller, and my exhaustion is lower. A good trade.

James will be home next month, I can't believe that he has been gone two years already. Two years, long, and  worth it. We are all pleased he is home. So during that time I had tried and failed to raise fish. Guppies and Mollies, two fish I was assured had long lives, and would give us offspring to enjoy. Ya, some how I killed them all but one. I did everything they (three books) said, watched the water, changed the filter, fed them careful rationed food, and yep they died, all but one. 1 fish, left unnamed, lived all this time in a tank that hadn't been cleaned, with tap water pored in without heed to temperature or chlorine  This fish hung on even when i switched him from a sinking to tank (now re-purposed outside) to a bowl on my counter, every morning when I went outside to feed my animals he was there waiting to be fed too. I knew he was happy to see me on account that he always waved his fin  (I know what you are thinking, that fish have to move their fins to float, and i say not true.I should know...) We changed out his water, and fed it all to our plants, whole loved it, he was given tap water. He lived for three years. He was a good fish, and this morning he didn't greet me at the door.

While I am happy to have my counter back, I have to say that I looked forward to seeing him, as much as my ducks every morning, they were adorable, messy, noisy little birds, full of personality and a penchant for eating  my garden...

So as eggs fill both my refrigerators  and rabbit steadily grows to a size to fill my freezer I feel satisfied that I have done all I can to provide for my family in this small space given to me. My pantry is filled with home canned foods,and products from my couponing. The plans I have made to provide for my family coming together and creating resources for us to draw upon.

I have to say that we don't have to have a farm to be a farmer, to grow our own food, animals, or live frugally  All the tools we need are around us, we simply have to work toward it.

I will say that the past years hasn't been easy in everything, my brand new KITCHEN AID dishwasher has been broken more than it has worked  I do feel a slight sense of satisfaction knowing that when it is done breaking it will have all knew parts and at no cost to me. but without my beloved friend things have been rather upsetting around here, for one there is no one who loves washing dishes, except maybe Jaden. If only she could get to the sink, but then there is the worry of sanitation, and so we are back to the drawing board.

Speaking of Jaden, she has had her run in with infection the past year, and medication, the last two being the greatest and most upsetting since she was forced to stays at the hospital, accompanied by IV meds, and all the fun that comes with having your body working against you. She is home and settled, took it all as trooper but the last stay is the direct result as to why the plants in my green house died.

Apparently, according to a reliable source, plants like to be baked and un-watered for three days, especially after a cold snap. So my lovely tomatoes are no more. Green beans, lettuce, melons  you get the idea. I managed to rescue the ripe ones, and was delighted to see onions that managed to hold out.

I digress.

Rannon was away, helping my folks get their house ready for the fall. Sicily was at Seminary, and Choir each day, and so Teri saved me and kept an eye on the boys while Jaden was confined to quarters.

Jonah has been in football. I am so happy with him, he worked hard to earn the money himself, and when the sponsors found out they paid for him. They were impressed that he'd worked so hard. Jonah was ecstatic and plunked his hard earned dough on cleats, and junk food. All in all a great experience. Quint loves having a kid interested in football, so after 20 years of silence we are now regaled with shouts and screams during football games. I had no idea. Really.

Sicily has jumped into music with both feet this year, playing the piano, and singing at church and in the school choir. She is still home schooling, and loves it, but this year she started seminary  and well I don't offer choir. LOL. Next year she may take an art class as well, we'll see. She is happy, beautiful and loving. She has made terrific friends, and helps me A LOT with Jaden. I am not sure i could do it without her.

Rannon has been studying, and planning out his strategies for life while eating. I can't believe that kids ability to eat, and still not gain a pound, or an ounce for that matter. He is funny, smart, and a great source when in need. Generous, is one thought for him.

Calvin is growing and learning, he loves playing in the water now, life jacket finally gone. he looks forward to having James assist him in his learning, and hanging out with his brother.

Jaden is getting better, sores, and strange illnesses leaving her alone, thanks to amazing pharmacology. She will be 17 this year, and I plan for 15 more years. :)

Quint and I are great, maybe better than ever. I am so thankful for him in my life. I am not certain I could have gotten through some spots without him, and his love for me, imperfect as I am.

Right now, this moment I notice the loss of my one fish, and think that somehow it must be how God is with all of us. That somewhere in the world he notices a fish, or a bird that we pay no attention to. A blade of grass, a flower, and strawberries all crinkling from the cold nights, but he knows because we are his. Just as this home, this family, this little patch of a farm are mine. In some odd way I feel closer to him right now, and I know no matter what troubles, excuse me, EXPERIENCES, come my way, our way, that through him all things are possible. That with God's help everything will work our just as it was intended all along.

Love you all, Stacey